So this is the new year...

... and I don't feel any different.
Just kidding. I do. Those are just the opening lines from a DCFC song I like a lot.

Yes, yes, 2014 has arrived whether I like it or not. 2013 was a pretty good year for me. I learned more about myself, I got back in to school and I've more or less accepted my situation and learned to embrace it and make the best of it. Not like it was bad to begin with, I just feel residual impulses to be constantly moving, because that's all I've ever known. But I am happy where I am and who I'm with. I'm happy with my work and school situation. I'm happy and grateful everyone I love is still alive, so it's never that bad, is it?

Even though my situation was good, I'm trying to make it better in 2014. I set resolutions. Real ones. That I am committed to keeping. No. Matter. What. See, one thing I learned about myself in 2013 is that I don't give myself enough credit. I am capable of great things. But I've never accomplished anything way super significant because I get lazy and unmotivated. But not anymore. New year, new me. (Well, still the same me, but with enhanced motivation!)

So, here they are.

First, I will eat better in 2014. Not like my diet is terrible, but it's a far cry from the awesomeness it was a couple of years ago. Carson and I got stocked up on neat kitchen appliances for Christmas, so now I really don't have any excuses. Hello, green smoothies and delicious, nutrient dense crock-pot meals, I will devour you! Mostly this resolution has a lot to do with me not being lazy when it comes to my self-care. I feel better when I eat better, and I know this, so I have to do this.

Second, I will get back in to yoga in 2014. Again, nothing compared to where I was 2 years ago. It's sad watching my flexibility and strength wane! Besides consulting my multitude of books on a regular basis, I intend to make use of online resources like no one's business. Plus, I thought of something fun and challenging to do (in January at least. I'll probably be ready for a switch up come February). For January I decided to do one more sun salutation a day than I did the day before. I started on January first with one sun salute, and I will keep adding so that on the last day of the month I will do 31 sun salutations. If you would like to see how I progress with that particular resolution (and what I decide to do the rest of the year to keep me on track) you can follow my yoga blog.

Third, I will be participating in a Spending Fast in 2014. I found the inspiration for this resolution here. This girl and her blog seriously rock. I get so many awesome money-saving tips from her page that I decided to completely throw myself into her get-out-of-debt strategy. I'm not the worst spender in the world but I could be much better with my money. By far my biggest challenge will be to not buy little trinkets and nail polish from work (I have a small fixation with nail polish. That's all we're going to say).

Did you set any resolutions you'd care to share? Good luck and best wishes for 2014!

rays

Summer is truly winding down now. I did some last minute "summer-fun" activities, despite my never-ending homework. I just couldn't pass up the Idaho State Fair, or the Salt Lake Comic Con! That's right, I went! I took my 14-year-old nephew and my boyfriend with me and we had so much fun. We're definitely going next year, too.

What I want to write about today is how surprisingly good I feel about everything in my life right now. That's not an understatement. Of course not everything is ideal, but it's getting pretty damn close. I could be taking better care of myself when it comes to eating and exercising, I could be sleeping a more regular schedule, but I don't feel totally shitty because of it, and I think that's important.

School is fun and rewarding; I'm already learning so much and having a great time doing it. Work isn't a nightmare-- it's not interfering with anything (which I was afraid it would at least serve to overwhelm me), my relationships are great, and I can smell autumn in the air! Soon I'll be in a new space, my own space, and I think I'll be better able to work on my fitness and nutrition when that happens. I will probably sleep more soundly at night, and I will have a decent place to do my school work. It'll be bare at first (we have almost zero furniture...) but doesn't that happen to almost every 20-something year old at some point in their lives?

My point here is, I finally feel like my life is on track. I don't feel stuck. I don't feel stale. I don't feel gloomy. I'm on the threshold of living the vision I've had for my life for the past 2 years. I'm almost there. I'm doing it. I couldn't have done it on my own. My family and boyfriend have been there for me in countless ways and for that I am so incredibly grateful.

I feel like the sun. Bright, warm, and strong.

source

Happy Back to School!

Well, it took me a couple of years but I'm finally back in school! My 14 credit online semester starts today. I'm excited, and a little nervous, and very determined to do well! I know that my life is about to change (again) and I will have to make major adjustments to my schedule and leisure time. I'm still working my regular schedule. I've never worked and gone to school at the same time, so it might be a challenge for me to mold school around work, especially on long work days.. But I'm going to give it my all!

my best friends for the next 4 months

I decided to continue on with my 2 year degree, since most of my credits from Florida transfer easily to 2-year colleges here. I didn't want to risk losing a lot of credits or anything like that. And this way, once I complete my AA I can transfer into any university as a Junior. Which is a huge deal to me. Plus, it's cheaper. Once I'm done with my AA I can start working in my field and have a better job while I'm working on my Bachelor's degree. Overall, I think I have a pretty solid plan for my education. I just don't know where I'll be going to get my 4 year degree. That all depends on what happens while I'm working on the 2 year!

So today is dedicated to being patient and loving with myself, as I take the first steps to a different life (I actually sat down and meditated for a few minutes this morning. I have a hunch that practice will help tremendously); getting organized/making sure I have all of my supplies; planning out a new schedule and routine as best I can; drinking lots of water and taking deep breaths!

Wish me luck!

july gratitude

I feel inclined to write a gratitude list, since my last post was sad and stuff.

besides, it's been a while since i've done one of these.

-fresh water

-great books

-ginger peach tea

-wifi

-bookstores

-thunderstorms (we got one today, lightning included :] )

-this adorable kitten i've had the absolute pleasure of playing with lately

-my newfound appreciation for my little pony, thanks to my niece (no shame here- that show is cute!)

-the greenbelt

-personal progress

-my absolutely loving and devoted boyfriend

-sunshine, the sky, and white fluffy clouds

-the internet and the ease of accessibility of innumerable, valuable resources

-my parents

-music

-time with friends

-yummy fruits

-the yard game known as cornhole (it's not perverted, i promise)

-pillows and blankets

-the library

-helping people out where and when i can

-candles that smell nice

-knowing i have people i can count on when i need help

-the ruffling of skirts in the breeze

-life

little sprouts

My blog has over 2,000 page views! I'm not quite sure how that happened, but hey, it's still cool! (To me, at least.) It makes me a little more motivated to post regularly.

Here's a basic update on me, what I've been doing, and what is on the horizon:

*I have been reading A TON! Which makes me really happy, because I always seem to drift away from books and reading, for whatever reason. Lately I've been reading books back to back. I've read a couple of Kingsolver books, and I just picked up my second Gaiman novel, among other things. I usually take a few days (or weeks sometimes) to digest and ponder whatever I finished, but lately I just feel a pull to move on to the next story. I've been taking full advantage of my library card and Goodreads.com. It's been so much fun!

*Packing is once again in the works for me. It seems like I'm always packing. It's not daunting or overwhelming anymore; it's exciting. It's a part of my life that I know will keep popping up, so why let it stress me out and bother me? Besides, it's a good excuse to go through my things and decide what stays and what goes on a regular basis.

*Preparing for school in the Fall. You read it right- I'm going back to college! It's been a struggle, between establishing residency in Idaho and financial issues, but now everything is resolved and I'm registered as a full-time student at a community college. I'm beside myself with excitement! Also a little nervous, but deep down I'm confident I won't have too much trouble adjusting to my new schedule and workload.

*Carson and I have a few day trips planned, since he starts working more days soon and will have 2 days off a week again! We want to go visit some local waterfalls and go swimming. We're lucky we have Lava Hot Springs, Heise Hot Springs, and Green Canyon close to us. Oh, and the museum has a Guitars exhibit that he's really interested in. I just plain love the museum so we're going to go there, too.

*4th of July. It's right around the corner, three of my loved ones' birthdays are right around there, it's big in Carson's family. It's going to be a big, busy deal this year! But I'm excited, nonetheless. Maybe I'll make some treats for the occasion and make a post about it ;)

*My little garden is doing pretty well. Some plants are happier than others. I should re-pot a few into larger containers soon... but for the most part they're pretty and green and make me happy. I'm growing a majority of herbs this year. The plan is to dry out the leaves to use in my own loose-leaf tea. I'm growing peppermint, lavender, sage, and holy basil. Oh, and I'm happy and proud to say that it's all organic. I also found out that there is a gardening club/community in my city which I plan to join next summer. I get 30 square feet to plant what I want and engage with other gardeners!

That's probably enough for today. Thanks for reading and have a great day!

wisdom from a father is invaluable

I found a box of books a few weeks ago with many books I haven't read, and many that I love but haven't read for a long time. Since I don't have much shelf space in my room I decided to swap out the books I've read recently for new ones and old favorites.

While I was rummaging I came across a message my father wrote in a book he gave me for my 17th birthday. My dad always writes a little in books that he gives me and it's one of the most treasured aspects of my life. This particular book is a collection of poems and tales by Edgar Allan Poe. I always admired that big volume on his shelf but never opened it because I knew how much he loved it and how protective he is with books. What he wrote was this:

"Dear Clari,

Happy 17th birthday!

I hope you enjoy this book. It was my personal copy. I hope that you find it as enjoyable as I do.

Remember that a good book can be a good friend and an escape from the world when things get rough.

Also, Poe rocks!!

I love you.

Love, Dad."

I've been repeating the italicized sentence to myself over and over since I found it. Because my dad is right. He knew that I use books as an escape when things get rough; that's something I've always done, and he knows it's something I'll always do. Not to mention, my life was turmoil when I was 17 and I think this was his way of encouraging me to deal with life in a productive way. Reading is never detrimental.

Now, years later, it's incredibly relevant to my life. That book holds such wisdom. It could very well be my favorite because my father's advice is timeless. I feel so grateful to have such an understanding and wise father. And Poe does rock!

BRETTSDOTTER

I spent Father's Day with my dad. It seems like an obvious thing to do but this was big for me since I don't remember the last father's day I spent with him. I'm so happy that I had the opportunity to do so this year. I love my dad; he believes in me more than anyone in the world and he's one of the nicest, most funny guys I've ever met. We had a relaxed, lazy day. We browsed magazines, talked fitness and food, and exchanged funny stories. We also talked about some serious life topics.

Somehow I knew we'd talk about those things. I think maybe I've been especially tuned into the Universe lately, who knows. But for the past month or so I've been feeling like I needed to prepare for something. I felt like it was high time I kick it into high gear and get serious. What "it" was I didn't know until I talked to my dad on Sunday afternoon.

You see, my dad is a plotter. He taught me how to set goals and manage time and money from a very young age. He's always striving for the next, greatest thing in life, and he passed that on to me. Most recently, he's worked out a way to help me achieve one of my highest goals in the next year! I was floored when he told me what he's been thinking. He loaded me up with resources and ideas on Sunday and told me to start practicing my passion again, this time with the intention of never letting it wane again and only letting it grow. I don't know where I'd be without my dad. He's always there for me in the ways that matter the most. He's the greatest blessing in my life. And because of him I get to start the most exciting part of my journey faster than I thought!

Thoughtful Thursday [wk.11]- "1-T" DAY

No quote today. I'm not reflecting; I'm engaging. Today is the day where student loan debt reaches $1 trillion. Yes, that's 12 zeros.

My generation grew up being told that we needed a college education to get a stable, good paying job. Unfortunately, we had to take out loans to pay for the increasing costs of tuition. Not to mention pricey books in the science, engineering, and medical fields. "But no worry," we were told. "With your degree you'll get a good job and be able to pay off that debt in no time."

Yet the news is telling us that 1 in 2 college grads are jobless, or in positions that don't require the knowledge they gained while earning their 4 year degree. Many of my friends who have graduated with a bachelor's degree are working as waiters or in grocery store delis. It's a sad, sad outlook.

Source

Fortunately people see the injustice in the conundrum so many young people find themselves in after graduating college. Robert Applebaum started the Forgive Student Loan Debt movement. I really believe that this is a movement worth following, as it affects all of us, not to mention the future economy of this country.

I normally don't post about social issues, but this one just makes me sad. $1 trillion of debt? To educate the future of this country? It's backwards, it's offensive, it's killing the country. It's practically indentured servitude! Young people can't start businesses or buy houses because of the weight of their debt. And the only reason they have the debt is because they were told they could only get a good a job with a college degree. Which, by the way, I don't fully agree with. However, I do agree with and believe in education. This is incredibly sticky and messy. But please, lets keep up with this issue so we can all have a brighter future!

Saturday March 31, 2012

On this day in eastern Idaho, the sun was out and warm and offered the first hints of spring. I think it got up to 72 degrees F in Pocatello, where I was spending the day with my boyfriend. I needed a perfect day like this. Badly.

I slept in. That's a feat in itself! Since it was so warm, I was able to wear a skirt for the first time since moving back to Idaho! I was so happy to get my legs in the sun and feel my skirt fluttering around. I have to say, I looked really cute. And my guy even wore his nice buttoned shirt! We took a walk downtown and we poked around in some stores. After our walk, we were pretty hungry, so we tried a pizza place by his house that we have never been to before. It's called Bigfoot Pizza and we had heard good things about it. The pizza was MASSIVE! The toppings were stacked on and it made me feel like we really got our money's worth! We got a half & half since I'm veggie and he's not. I gotta say, the old cliche is true: opposites attract. My half was covered in veggies, while his had a bunch of meat.

We took the pizza back to his house and watched The Boondock Saints 1 & 2. I missed out on those movies when they were new and popular so I decided to play catch-up with him. I really enjoyed the movies! And my pizza! And my company!

Days like this are always a bit monumental and very memorable for me. People think that you have to spend a ton of money and have all these grandiose plans to have a good time. The bottom line is that that is just not true! My man and I walked downtown, we window shopped and browsed stores without spending a dime, but still enjoyed the atmosphere. We looked nice for each other. We soaked up the sun. We watched DVDs he already owned. The only money we spent was on the pizza-- food, sustenance, a necessity of life. AND we even got the daily special, so it was a couple dollars cheaper than it would have been. We enjoyed the day, and each others' company fully without making a big deal of things or blowing a bunch of money.

When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter how much money is spent. The only things that matter are the memories and feelings, the bonding and building of relationships, that are cultivated during the time we share with others.

Thoughtful Thursday [wk.8]- BREAKING DOLDRUMS

I've been sad and slightly mad the past few weeks. I feel stuck and anxious to change it.

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

This message has reached my ears several times in the past week. Just yesterday, my boyfriend said to me, "Don't let a time frame trip you out; life takes as long as life takes." And it's so true. Anything in life that's worth anything takes a long time to attain. Instant gratification never lasts that long, it's never very strong.

I had quite the day yesterday. To put it in a nutshell, my job is a joke and the lack of organization is driving me insane. Thus, change is needed. So I turned to my trusty ol' pops. He's my go-to person when I'm feeling like complete crap over my life. He's been around a while, he's dealt with his share of crap. We talked for 2 hours on the phone. Then I chatted with my oldest brother about my lifecrap when he got home from work.

My father and brother have been the biggest support and push to better myself throughout my entire life [and they've both had endless amounts of patience with me. Bless their souls]. It's wonderful because they have different points of view, so I don't feel like my family is a broken record [or like they're conspiring...]. I get the greatest feeling of hope after I talk to my father and brother when I'm in a rut. The advice they gave me: write more. Really, that's the conclusion they both came to! I thought it was pretty interesting that I could get different perspectives but the bottom-line message from both of them was the same. I should listen.

Both of them believe writing is my way out of this string of crappy jobs. [Deep down, I believe that, too.] The thing about writing [and why I don't do it as often as I should] is because of the amount of time it requires. I'm impatient, I want to see results quickly, I'm lazy. I have a gift I don't exercise. What a mess! So this comes full circle to Mr Emerson's advice about being patient. Only with patience can the most beautiful, worthwhile things be achieved. The secret to help you out when you're in the pits? Determine your goal and have patience. In my case I don't only need to have patience with the time it will take to make myself, I need to have patience with myself.

Wish me luck!