I've been in bed all day long because I caught a cold, or something. It's terrible. I don't remember the last time I was sick. Really, it's been
years. I had forgotten that my body aches when I'm sick, I get a nasty taste in my mouth, I can't hardly do anything because my balloonish head starts to swim, I get cold then hot, and I suffer bouts of "mindlessness" where my thoughts just sort of drift away to somewhere, thinking about something, and have nothing to do with what's happening that moment. It's sort of annoying.
This is bad timing for me to get sick. I'm on the final leg of my summer semester, 3 weeks to go. Needless to say I have a mountain on homework. I'm glad I worked hard yesterday because I won't be able to accomplish what I had planned for today. Oh well, I'll survive. I'd rather take a day to get better instead of pushing myself and prolonging my recovery. I did manage to do some homework this morning, so that feels good on my conscious. What doesn't feel good on my conscious are the 7 daunting tests I need to take in the next 2 weeks. What the hell, right? BUT! I can see the finish line. That also feels good on my conscious.
I think for the rest of the day I'll indulge in some leisurely reading. The really cool thing about that is I have a huge selection to pick from right now! So I can switch genres if my sickly mind wanders too much. I'm usually always reading more than one book at a time-- currently I'm reading 5. Half of them are graphic novels/manga I've been following. Then I have some poetry, fiction, and books on meditation and yoga. In fact, I really need to get reading because I'm borrowing a ton of books from my friend. She feeds my addiction to written works, haha. I love having a former Lit major as a best friend; conversations never run dry with her!
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| what i'm working with |
It's times like this I'm very, very grateful for the friends in my life. Although I can't physically be with them while I'm sick I know they're with me in spirit. Her loving willingness to let me borrow however many books whenever I please eases the loneliness I feel from living across town from her and our intimate circle of friends. The love of books we share creates a support system that flourishes even when we don't talk for a few days (like right now for example; my dear friend is occupying herself in the Appalachians. Lucky girl!). Sharing and discussing books provide little windows to our souls and helps us stay connected. I'm so thankful I have someone in my life to share this bond with. It's something that has been inside of me since I was a small child and my book-wormish father taught me the wonder of words.
So on this day of utter solitude and ill-health I'll extend my gratitude of magnificent friendships and the bonds in life that are unbreakable. It's a wonderful thing to focus our daily thoughts and actions on a central idea, such as gratitude. Even if you can't express it directly to the person in your heart, the thoughts you release into the universe find their intended target. And for me, that's comforting.