tension

i'm torn about this post. i'm not entirely sure i want to post it...
i try very hard to only post positive, uplifting things on this blog.

it's a space for me to share my happiness; to muse over and blurt out whatever i want.

whatever i want.

so does that include things that aren't necessarily in flux with the majority of posts on this blog?

do i want to put what i've been feeling lately out there?

i don't know.

all i know is that June was stressful, no matter how hard i try to sugar-coat or disguise it.

it's been so stressful my back constantly aches;

my sleeping patterns are all f*cked up;

my digestion is a wreck.

i feel helpless; lonely; stuck-in-a-rut-ish.

the few stressors i have in my life have truly been tearing at my heart.
and i don't know what to do, or if there's even anything i can do.
it all just feels so out of my control...

so basically i feel like shit. and i don't want to tell the world.
but i just did.
did you hear that world? i feel like shit!
and it's okay to post that on an otherwise happy, feel-good blog.
because i'm human.
and not every day (or month) is god-damned rainbows and frolicking bunnies.

little sprouts

My blog has over 2,000 page views! I'm not quite sure how that happened, but hey, it's still cool! (To me, at least.) It makes me a little more motivated to post regularly.

Here's a basic update on me, what I've been doing, and what is on the horizon:

*I have been reading A TON! Which makes me really happy, because I always seem to drift away from books and reading, for whatever reason. Lately I've been reading books back to back. I've read a couple of Kingsolver books, and I just picked up my second Gaiman novel, among other things. I usually take a few days (or weeks sometimes) to digest and ponder whatever I finished, but lately I just feel a pull to move on to the next story. I've been taking full advantage of my library card and Goodreads.com. It's been so much fun!

*Packing is once again in the works for me. It seems like I'm always packing. It's not daunting or overwhelming anymore; it's exciting. It's a part of my life that I know will keep popping up, so why let it stress me out and bother me? Besides, it's a good excuse to go through my things and decide what stays and what goes on a regular basis.

*Preparing for school in the Fall. You read it right- I'm going back to college! It's been a struggle, between establishing residency in Idaho and financial issues, but now everything is resolved and I'm registered as a full-time student at a community college. I'm beside myself with excitement! Also a little nervous, but deep down I'm confident I won't have too much trouble adjusting to my new schedule and workload.

*Carson and I have a few day trips planned, since he starts working more days soon and will have 2 days off a week again! We want to go visit some local waterfalls and go swimming. We're lucky we have Lava Hot Springs, Heise Hot Springs, and Green Canyon close to us. Oh, and the museum has a Guitars exhibit that he's really interested in. I just plain love the museum so we're going to go there, too.

*4th of July. It's right around the corner, three of my loved ones' birthdays are right around there, it's big in Carson's family. It's going to be a big, busy deal this year! But I'm excited, nonetheless. Maybe I'll make some treats for the occasion and make a post about it ;)

*My little garden is doing pretty well. Some plants are happier than others. I should re-pot a few into larger containers soon... but for the most part they're pretty and green and make me happy. I'm growing a majority of herbs this year. The plan is to dry out the leaves to use in my own loose-leaf tea. I'm growing peppermint, lavender, sage, and holy basil. Oh, and I'm happy and proud to say that it's all organic. I also found out that there is a gardening club/community in my city which I plan to join next summer. I get 30 square feet to plant what I want and engage with other gardeners!

That's probably enough for today. Thanks for reading and have a great day!

beerfest2013

On the first of June, the North American Brewer's Association put on 19th Annual Mountain Brewer's Beer Fest here in E. Idaho. I heard over 7,000 people went, as there were breweries from all over the Western United States. Craft beers are my heaven! And honestly, I'm still not too familiar with the different breweries that are available to me here in the West; they are quite different from what I bought in Florida. It seemed like a great opportunity to be introduced to what's around.

Luckily for me, my man had the day off and my 3 best friends came from out of town! The day was perfect; sunny, warm, and the vicious wind that is so common here was quiet.

I asked my friend Alisa to send me the pictures she took, since I forgot my camera. This was a day of celebration for us. You can see it on our faces. Especially since Carson worked 13 straight days before this, we hadn't seen Alisa and her hubby Caleb for months, and Candice lives in SLC so it had been a while since I'd seen her, too. Besides, when you throw sun and brews into it, any situation gets a little silly.

The lovely Alisa and I

Us plus the fabulous Candice

Cheese-balls.

Showing off his new tattoo

not sure what's going on here, but it makes me laugh

Uh... same with this one....

we tried to get everyone rounded up, but we're
missing a few.

All in all, the day was an absolute success! It was a great way to kick-off the summer and I'm sure all of us will remember that day for a long time. Thanks again to Alisa who remembered her camera, because of her we have lots of visuals to look at and giggle to :)

BEING BROKE [prt. 2]

25 ideas. In listed form:

1.

Ride your bike in the morning (before the weather/heat pick up)

2.

Walk around taking pictures of flowers and blossoming trees

3.

Do an hour-long yoga practice

4.

Take a nap! (I bet you deserve it)

5.

Pick out a nail color you haven't worn for a while and give yourself a manicure

 6.

Bake! You could make a lot of breakfast and freeze it for early mornings, or you could stick with muffins, cupcakes, or cookies!

7.

Learn the basics of maintaining your bike (or another piece of equipment you use regularly)

8.

Repot your growing plants. I find this to be very grounding and I enjoy the time outside.

9.

Call your grandmother

10.

Learn something new. You could read about different art styles, the universe, a country you'd like to visit, marine life, the possibilities are endless!

11.

Take a walk around one of your city parks

12.

Volunteer at the animal shelter

13.

Organize your photos

14.

Organize your receipts and other paper stuffs

15.

Make a weekly cleaning schedule for your house

16.

Tackle the small repairs you've been putting off
(like changing that lightbulb, or fixing that button...)

17.

Plan out your meals for the next week

18.

Plan a fun stay-at-home activity for you and your sweetie

19.

Clear out some old clutter

20.

Meditate

21.
Go through the bookmarks on your computer

22.
Make some pinterest pins (crafts, dinner, dessert...)

23.
Wash your car

24.
Pick up that book you've been meaning to start

25.
Rearrange the house! Or just a room :)

BEING BROKE & WHAT I'M DOING ABOUT IT [prt. 1]

Well, folks, I did something expensive. But totally worth it. I purchased a bicycle! I haven't had one since I lived in Florida (so that's at least a year and a half!). As fun and exciting as a new bike is, it's never convenient to drop a pretty penny on a toy. Now, don't be thinking I spent 4 figures on a top of the line, name brand road bike. No, sir. I live within my means. It's a modest little thing that I purchased directly from a distributor (read: wholesale not retail). I'm a poor girl, with a modest budget, and now my itty bitty money is being stretched a bit more than usual. Which is totally fine. Really. I just have to find money-free ways to keep myself busy for the next little bit.

Now, you might be thinking, "come on, that's obvious: RIDE THE BIKE!" I have, and I will. But this week in E. Idaho we're getting windy gusts up to 30 freaking miles an hour. EVERY DAY! ALL WEEK!  On Sunday, my brother, his wife, and I did a 13 mile ride out in the country. It was so beautiful and peaceful. Oh, except for the 25 mph wind that we were riding against. That was hard. And frustrating. And I think at one point climbing a hill I even swore. Headwind + bike = not my ideal.

So, what do I plan on doing to busy myself while it's too windy to ride? I'm not sure yet. I'll probably just make things up as I go along.

So far this week:

Monday: 1 hour of yoga in the morning.

I read by the river (it may be windy but the sun is HOT this week. and I love it.)

I took the cutest, best dog in the world on a nice, long walk. I let him dictate where we would go. That way I was surprised and he was the happiest dog in the world.

Tuesday: I journaled.

1 hour of yoga in the evening.

I made phone calls and wrote emails I had been putting off (which was really a good idea because now I have a brand new headlight for my bike on the way. My previous one crapped out on me. Thank goodness for lifetime warranties!)

Chatted with my dad

I blogged! For the first time this year, hehheh...

I'd like to say that I'll post my cheap entertainment & busyness ideas every day for the next little bit, but let's be real, there's a high likelihood that won't happen. I am anything but a consistent blogger. However, I will try. For now, I think I will go to the library and browse the DVDs.

What are some money-free ways you have fun & keep busy?

madre

My mother came to visit.

I hadn't seen her in over a year.

I don't remember the last time we had a picture taken together, so one day we went out shopping and snapped a few shots.

She's beautiful.

And I love her.

appreciation 2012

I have not posted for a very long time! And in fact I have at least one other post I'd like to share, but in lieu of Thanksgiving this past week I'll post this first.

I believe that being grateful is one of the foundational habits of a happy and positive life. If we don't express gratitude, how will the Universe know which ways to surprise us next? How would our friends and family know when their actions or words are appreciated and welcome? One thing I have been practicing lately is saying THANK YOU, for just about everything.

So here it goes, my excessive expressions of gratitude. In list form:

-family. They've helped me out so much the past year. And my mom is here visiting from across the country!

-my job.

-new life. I have a couple of friends that had babies this past year and it's amazing how much light such a tiny little body can bring into the world. Nothing beats a baby's laugh.

-new wool socks. I love socks this time of year. My dad knows this. He's the best.

-ovens. Because I love to bake.

-Diane, my favorite yoga teacher at the gym I go to. Enough said.

-tea. I have been drinking lots of tea lately, and it really helps to calm me down if I'm feeling out of sorts.

-books. I've been reading a lot too.

-all sorts of resources, actually. I've been really into magazines and Pinterest lately (heehee)

-kind words. They're not heard enough.

-good deeds. They're not seen enough.

-a roof over my head.

-pets to cuddle.

-friends to laugh with.

-someone to love.

-the sky. It reminds me to breathe deeply. Especially right before the sun rises. I love the colors and clouds. Sometimes on my way to work early in the morning, if it's clear enough, I can see the Grand Teton. It makes me incredibly happy.

-mountains. I love the grandeur they add to the landscape.

-my safety. I feel like this is something most people take for granted. I know that Orlando has much more crime than eastern Idaho, and I'm so grateful to live in a safer community.

-the safety my loved ones experience, as well.

-my daily comforts. Like my bed and pillows, hot water, a reliable car, clothes, grocery stores (even though I still plan on having a massive garden and growing a lot of my own fresh foods, I'm glad grocery stores exist... most especially during the winter.)
-rain. I love the smell and the sound. I love the freshness that even just a little rain can bring to the earth, and my day.

-sunlight. It's been overcast for a while here, so it's been a big deal for me when the sun comes out and shines.