madre

My mother came to visit.

I hadn't seen her in over a year.

I don't remember the last time we had a picture taken together, so one day we went out shopping and snapped a few shots.

She's beautiful.

And I love her.

appreciation 2012

I have not posted for a very long time! And in fact I have at least one other post I'd like to share, but in lieu of Thanksgiving this past week I'll post this first.

I believe that being grateful is one of the foundational habits of a happy and positive life. If we don't express gratitude, how will the Universe know which ways to surprise us next? How would our friends and family know when their actions or words are appreciated and welcome? One thing I have been practicing lately is saying THANK YOU, for just about everything.

So here it goes, my excessive expressions of gratitude. In list form:

-family. They've helped me out so much the past year. And my mom is here visiting from across the country!

-my job.

-new life. I have a couple of friends that had babies this past year and it's amazing how much light such a tiny little body can bring into the world. Nothing beats a baby's laugh.

-new wool socks. I love socks this time of year. My dad knows this. He's the best.

-ovens. Because I love to bake.

-Diane, my favorite yoga teacher at the gym I go to. Enough said.

-tea. I have been drinking lots of tea lately, and it really helps to calm me down if I'm feeling out of sorts.

-books. I've been reading a lot too.

-all sorts of resources, actually. I've been really into magazines and Pinterest lately (heehee)

-kind words. They're not heard enough.

-good deeds. They're not seen enough.

-a roof over my head.

-pets to cuddle.

-friends to laugh with.

-someone to love.

-the sky. It reminds me to breathe deeply. Especially right before the sun rises. I love the colors and clouds. Sometimes on my way to work early in the morning, if it's clear enough, I can see the Grand Teton. It makes me incredibly happy.

-mountains. I love the grandeur they add to the landscape.

-my safety. I feel like this is something most people take for granted. I know that Orlando has much more crime than eastern Idaho, and I'm so grateful to live in a safer community.

-the safety my loved ones experience, as well.

-my daily comforts. Like my bed and pillows, hot water, a reliable car, clothes, grocery stores (even though I still plan on having a massive garden and growing a lot of my own fresh foods, I'm glad grocery stores exist... most especially during the winter.)
-rain. I love the smell and the sound. I love the freshness that even just a little rain can bring to the earth, and my day.

-sunlight. It's been overcast for a while here, so it's been a big deal for me when the sun comes out and shines.

Review: THE DEFINING DECADE

I've recently come to accept the realization that I love self-help books. So when my friend of 14 years recommended The Defining Decade to me, I picked it up immediately.

Source

The book focuses on the fact that now, more than ever, twentysomething year olds are confused about how to tackle this delicate decade. Dr. Jay writes that the media delivers false information that decisions can be postponed during the twentysomething years, and that they should be "lived up". Jay argues that this is utterly detrimental to the future; the decisions made (or not made) during the twenties affect individuals for decades to come. The book was full of valuable information and facts. She writes with compassion, knowledge, and experience.

The book is targeted to twentysomethings who have graduated college and don't know what to do or where to go afterwards. In that sense, I couldn't really relate, since I haven't received a degree yet. But the advice backed by the examples she offers are invaluable. Plus, it gave me a great feeling of "there's still time for me to get, and stay, on track!" She talks a lot about work, love, and the changes the brain undergoes during the twenties.

I really enjoyed this book. It was straightforward and written very clearly, making it an easy and enjoyable read. I'd like to own this book to have as a reference, and to  also pass on some information to my teenaged nephew as he approaches this busy decade. I would recommend this book to all twentysomething year olds and their parents.

wisdom from a father is invaluable

I found a box of books a few weeks ago with many books I haven't read, and many that I love but haven't read for a long time. Since I don't have much shelf space in my room I decided to swap out the books I've read recently for new ones and old favorites.

While I was rummaging I came across a message my father wrote in a book he gave me for my 17th birthday. My dad always writes a little in books that he gives me and it's one of the most treasured aspects of my life. This particular book is a collection of poems and tales by Edgar Allan Poe. I always admired that big volume on his shelf but never opened it because I knew how much he loved it and how protective he is with books. What he wrote was this:

"Dear Clari,

Happy 17th birthday!

I hope you enjoy this book. It was my personal copy. I hope that you find it as enjoyable as I do.

Remember that a good book can be a good friend and an escape from the world when things get rough.

Also, Poe rocks!!

I love you.

Love, Dad."

I've been repeating the italicized sentence to myself over and over since I found it. Because my dad is right. He knew that I use books as an escape when things get rough; that's something I've always done, and he knows it's something I'll always do. Not to mention, my life was turmoil when I was 17 and I think this was his way of encouraging me to deal with life in a productive way. Reading is never detrimental.

Now, years later, it's incredibly relevant to my life. That book holds such wisdom. It could very well be my favorite because my father's advice is timeless. I feel so grateful to have such an understanding and wise father. And Poe does rock!

the summer: images

A few days late, but here are a few of the pictures I took on the summer solstice.

Sunrise with the wind turbines.

The view of Idaho Falls from Sunnyside; sunrise.

Purple fuzz; midday.
[I have no clue what this is.
Some sort of weed, I'd guess,
but it really intrigued me.
I think it's beautiful.]

Looking west; sunset.
[I love the golden sliver you can see from
the setting sun's reflection on the Snake River.]

the summer

Yesterday was the longest day of the year! I decided to make it really fun for myself. Everything I did was laced with a little bit of "first day of summer" fever. I took advantage of every minute of sunshine. I even woke up to watch the sun rise and was sure to watch it set, too. I went to a great yoga class, I got to wear a pretty sun dress; my boyfriend and I walked around downtown with iced tea, peeking into antique stores and thrift stores. We also walked around the river and that may have been my favorite part of the whole day. We walked for hours. I took some pictures because I wanted the day to be memorable. The summer solstice this year marked the day when I started taking myself seriously again and made a game plan to work harder than ever before. I'm lucky my boyfriend accepts my swift attitude adjustments. I'm lucky I had someone so wonderful to spend my happiest day of the year with.

I'll try to post some pictures tomorrow. I would do it tonight but I'm exhausted after spending hours cleaning and organizing my things. Thank goodness for two days off in a row!

BRETTSDOTTER

I spent Father's Day with my dad. It seems like an obvious thing to do but this was big for me since I don't remember the last father's day I spent with him. I'm so happy that I had the opportunity to do so this year. I love my dad; he believes in me more than anyone in the world and he's one of the nicest, most funny guys I've ever met. We had a relaxed, lazy day. We browsed magazines, talked fitness and food, and exchanged funny stories. We also talked about some serious life topics.

Somehow I knew we'd talk about those things. I think maybe I've been especially tuned into the Universe lately, who knows. But for the past month or so I've been feeling like I needed to prepare for something. I felt like it was high time I kick it into high gear and get serious. What "it" was I didn't know until I talked to my dad on Sunday afternoon.

You see, my dad is a plotter. He taught me how to set goals and manage time and money from a very young age. He's always striving for the next, greatest thing in life, and he passed that on to me. Most recently, he's worked out a way to help me achieve one of my highest goals in the next year! I was floored when he told me what he's been thinking. He loaded me up with resources and ideas on Sunday and told me to start practicing my passion again, this time with the intention of never letting it wane again and only letting it grow. I don't know where I'd be without my dad. He's always there for me in the ways that matter the most. He's the greatest blessing in my life. And because of him I get to start the most exciting part of my journey faster than I thought!

jubilation

*Sleeping in

*Vitamin D production

*Ab workout

*Laughter

*Paycheck

*A gorgeous succulent

*The cool breeze

*Everything crossed off my To-Do list

*Coconut almond fudge ice cream

*Mini facial

*A new dress & skirt

*Love from loved ones

*English breakfast tea

*Fresh, clean clothes

*Eucalyptus essential oil

*Conversation

*Conviction and commitment

"Someday my ship will come in..."

Exactly one week ago, at the impressive age of 91, Ray Bradbury left us for another dimension.

His was a name I grew up with. My father always listed him as one of his favorite authors. When I was a bored teenager my dad would tell me to go to the library and read Bradbury's short stories. "They're the best" he'd tell me. And he was right. I remember being put off, at first, when my dad told me he wrote science fiction. That didn't appeal to me. Luckily, my dad knew me, and recognized Bradbury's excellence, and he persisted, so I listened to him.

Reading Bradbury is a decision I've never regretted. I Sing the Body Electric! helped me cope with a difficult time in my life, and it's one of my heart's most treasured books. I don't remember where my copy came from. It's old, probably considered vintage; the pages are yellowing, slightly stained, and coming up from the binding in some parts. I'll never get rid of it. I'll read it to my children.

Something tugged at my heartstrings when I heard Mr. Bradbury had died. His thoughts and ideas about the present and future always lined up so well with mine. A sort of melancholy excitement; a desire for the best, but an awareness that things could end up terribly crooked. I always admired him, especially for never going to college and still achieving an eminence in his career field. What a cool, passionate man!

He's one of the few, true authors that has touched my deepest thoughts. I'm grateful to have so many of his words at my fingertips to enjoy throughout the rest of my life.

"Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. 

See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made

or paid for in factories."

June Commitments

May was a success! Well, mostly. I'm still having a hard time with food consciousness, but I think that's because I haven't had a job in a month. Which makes decent grocery shopping nearly impossible. I will continue to strive for that goal. On the other hand, I read plenty and exercised quite a bit! Granted, I haven't done much physical activity the past week and that's because I'm adjusting to a new schedule.... a new work schedule! It feels amazing to be working again. What's even better is that I'm in an environment I really like!

And in June I will:
Keep up the exercise: Mostly by going to the gym because my membership is over in July. I won't renew it because I need to focus more on my finances. And I've been building a small arsenal of fitness gear and DVDs, so there is no reason not to exercise at home.

Save and Budget: Pretty self explanatory. My new job is only part-time, so I'll be making considerably less for a bit until I get the gumption to get a 2nd job (probably after summer, because I want to...

Spend time outdoors: Now that summer is officially on the way here I'd like to visit some waterfalls, caves, hiking trails, all that good stuff that I moved back to Idaho for.

I will be better about blogging... promise!

Thoughtful Thursday [wk.12]

This quote is inspired by the birthdays of two people very dear to me: my father and my only niece. This weekend I'll be driving [almost] the entire width of Idaho celebrating with my loved ones. It's going to be crammed, it's going to be a little hectic, my bum might get a little sore, but I'm so happy I can be with my family! Einstein said it best:

"Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life!"

~Albert Einstein

And rejoice I will! My family definitely lifts my spirits and makes me so grateful, every single day. I have to give them credit for keeping me as happy as I am!


My niece is the sweetest thing in the world. I'll come home from work to find pictures she drew and colored just for me! Drawings of tigers, lions, and jaguars; drawings of honey bees and butterflies; drawings of owls, and even dinosaurs with babies! I started putting them up on my wall and she was so happy and proud when she saw them up there! Her smile instantly makes me happy.

My niece and one of her quick drawings of the Count from Sesame Street.
(I showed her the censored Count video, hence the "beeep")

And where would I be without my dad?! I've been a daddy's girl for as long as I can remember. It's been hard these past few years being so far away from him and having to share our lives through phone calls and email. But this year I get to spend his birthday weekend with him! Maybe we'll go back out to Shoshone Falls and I can get some nice shots with my DSLR. Or maybe we'll just sit around chatting, eating veggie chips and watching movies. I don't really care what we do as long as I can share his birthday with him.

May Commitments

I'm seriously considering making this a monthly thing.

April is over and I have to admit that I fell a bit short on my commitments for the month. I managed to clear out and organize some things, and that was nice. I also kept my stress in check! Which is my biggest challenge in life, so I can't beat myself up if I fell a little short in other areas. And I think I only had one cup of coffee the whole month (that must be some sort of personal record). Easter screwed up the sugar cutback, but thankfully all of the candy is gone now!

Blossoms on a tree in my boyfriend's backyard

In May I will:
Exercise more: For real this time. I'm considering buying a bike so I have something fun to do in the afternoons (or even the mornings, if I'm feeling ambitious!) I think I'll shoot for 2-3 days a week at the local fitness club.

Be more food conscious: This can tie back into cutting back on sugar, but I want to implement overall consciousness in all of my food choices. I want to buy more local produce because the farmers markets are going to start up again soon. I'm also going to cut WAY back on my soy intake. I found this article the other day and it blew me away. I'm all about sustainability and soy is definitely NOT sustainable. I do have my own organic seeds, and I'm okay with planting and eating those, but for the most part I'm going to read labels like crazy. And use skim milk from the local dairy in my protein shakes instead of soy milk. (Speaking of protein shakes, this stuff is awesome!!)

Read more books: Self-explanitory. I had two books that I had been leisurely reading for almost a year and I finally worked through them. I didn't want to start anything new knowing I had books that needed to be finished. But now they're read and I can move on to new treasures.

Blooming bluebells

I think I'll leave it at that for now. I find that if I give myself too long of a list I won't get any of it done. I need to work on sprouting new habits instead of tackling issues all at once. And I think these things go well together. The first two do anyway. Reading just makes me insanely happy. If I think of anything else that might fit, I'll add it later on in the month!

I hope your May starts out fantastic!

Thoughtful Thursday [wk.11]- "1-T" DAY

No quote today. I'm not reflecting; I'm engaging. Today is the day where student loan debt reaches $1 trillion. Yes, that's 12 zeros.

My generation grew up being told that we needed a college education to get a stable, good paying job. Unfortunately, we had to take out loans to pay for the increasing costs of tuition. Not to mention pricey books in the science, engineering, and medical fields. "But no worry," we were told. "With your degree you'll get a good job and be able to pay off that debt in no time."

Yet the news is telling us that 1 in 2 college grads are jobless, or in positions that don't require the knowledge they gained while earning their 4 year degree. Many of my friends who have graduated with a bachelor's degree are working as waiters or in grocery store delis. It's a sad, sad outlook.

Source

Fortunately people see the injustice in the conundrum so many young people find themselves in after graduating college. Robert Applebaum started the Forgive Student Loan Debt movement. I really believe that this is a movement worth following, as it affects all of us, not to mention the future economy of this country.

I normally don't post about social issues, but this one just makes me sad. $1 trillion of debt? To educate the future of this country? It's backwards, it's offensive, it's killing the country. It's practically indentured servitude! Young people can't start businesses or buy houses because of the weight of their debt. And the only reason they have the debt is because they were told they could only get a good a job with a college degree. Which, by the way, I don't fully agree with. However, I do agree with and believe in education. This is incredibly sticky and messy. But please, lets keep up with this issue so we can all have a brighter future!

Review: THE SOULMATE EXPERIENCE

Source

The Soulmate Experience

by Mali Apple & Joe Dunn

I broke a promise to myself in order to read this book as quickly as possible and for free. It was worth it. I first heard of The Soulmate Experience about 6 months ago, and it peaked my interest because it focuses on how to keep the love alive in a relationship. Sounded interesting. So when I saw that they were giving the Kindle edition away for free in honor of their one year book anniversary, I caved and downloaded the Kindle software onto my Mac. Then I read the book. In 2 days.

It was a fun, easy read. The authors provided A TON of anecdotes, which at first I thought was annoying but they really helped to illustrate the points they were trying to make. Honestly, I didn't enjoy the beginning of the book because it was very similar to another I have read and I thought "no duh" a lot. However, as I progressed through the pages I realized that these two beings have some very helpful advice and insight!

For instance, there is an entire chapter on how to deal with jealousy, and it's not in the conventional way that you'd think! (i.e. nagging, guilt-trips, restrictions) Actually, nothing about this book follows the "conventional relationship model." As such, it was a very refreshing read. Some of the topics even sound a little scary [however, if you're in a relationship where two people are willing to work, nothing should be scary or off limits]. They gave tons of examples of fun dates, communication techniques, and easy ways to adopt new habits into your life.

Positivity was the sonorous bell throughout this book. It starts out by asking you to apply positive changes to yourself, thus making it easy to handle your relationship in a positive manner. I'm glad I have this book, because I'm sure I will reference it when my date ideas run dry! [And especially when my monkey brain gets the better of me!]

Thoughtful Thursday [wk.10]- FORGOTTEN VIRTUES

I'm only posting a quote today, because I think this speaks for itself.
I don't need to expand on this; it's perfect the way it is.

"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.

Without them humanity cannot survive."

- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Earth Month

To celebrate:

April Photography Walks.

[I need to figure out how to put a watermark on my photos so I can confidently post them on my blog without fear of someone stealing them from me! Yes, I am slightly technology illiterate.]

Thoughtful Thursday [wk.9]- SHINE

“When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad.

For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet

most of the audience still sleeps.”

-John Lennon

I love this quote. It reminds me that kindness wouldn't be kindness

if it came with conditions or expectations.

The sun shines, day after day, without any expectations.
We can be like the sun. We can shine and bring joy to others, even be overlooked from time to time, but we must still shine to make the world a happier, healthier place.
We can shine solely for ourselves; to warm our own heart and lift our own spirit.


Shine for others.
Shine for your Self.
All that matters is that you shine.

Saturday March 31, 2012

On this day in eastern Idaho, the sun was out and warm and offered the first hints of spring. I think it got up to 72 degrees F in Pocatello, where I was spending the day with my boyfriend. I needed a perfect day like this. Badly.

I slept in. That's a feat in itself! Since it was so warm, I was able to wear a skirt for the first time since moving back to Idaho! I was so happy to get my legs in the sun and feel my skirt fluttering around. I have to say, I looked really cute. And my guy even wore his nice buttoned shirt! We took a walk downtown and we poked around in some stores. After our walk, we were pretty hungry, so we tried a pizza place by his house that we have never been to before. It's called Bigfoot Pizza and we had heard good things about it. The pizza was MASSIVE! The toppings were stacked on and it made me feel like we really got our money's worth! We got a half & half since I'm veggie and he's not. I gotta say, the old cliche is true: opposites attract. My half was covered in veggies, while his had a bunch of meat.

We took the pizza back to his house and watched The Boondock Saints 1 & 2. I missed out on those movies when they were new and popular so I decided to play catch-up with him. I really enjoyed the movies! And my pizza! And my company!

Days like this are always a bit monumental and very memorable for me. People think that you have to spend a ton of money and have all these grandiose plans to have a good time. The bottom line is that that is just not true! My man and I walked downtown, we window shopped and browsed stores without spending a dime, but still enjoyed the atmosphere. We looked nice for each other. We soaked up the sun. We watched DVDs he already owned. The only money we spent was on the pizza-- food, sustenance, a necessity of life. AND we even got the daily special, so it was a couple dollars cheaper than it would have been. We enjoyed the day, and each others' company fully without making a big deal of things or blowing a bunch of money.

When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter how much money is spent. The only things that matter are the memories and feelings, the bonding and building of relationships, that are cultivated during the time we share with others.

April Commitments

Spring cleaning. I love making new space in my life, and spring is the best time to do that! (Plus, I know I have clothes in drawers I'm not wearing, that are in good condition, and will probably make someone else happy.)

Manage my stress better. This includes taking deep breaths, drinking herbal tea (I'm a big fan of Traditional Medicinals organic blends right now), nature walks and/or singing. (I don't have the best pipes, but I can't deny that I LOVE singing. It makes me feel good!)

Cut back on caffeine and sugar-- and junk foods in general. Working in a cafe where I'm surrounded with freshly ground beans, sugary drink flavors, cookies and ice cream is going to be quite the challenge! But I really need to start eating healthy again. I've had my reckless-winter-health hiatus and I'm ready to be back in control.

Exercise more. Yoga, long walks, cycling, maybe even some weight lifting. I've been feeling very skinny lately and I want to see if I can't tone up and get some extra pounds on me this summer and be a little more curvy!

I've had a lot of support and encouragement from my friends and family lately. I can't express enough gratitude to them for continually inspiring me to be the best me! I know I'm stronger than I give myself credit for most of the time. I'm ready to embrace my power :)

begetting blossoms

Yesterday was the First Day of Spring! HAPPY DAY!

I would have posted yesterday but I was busy working and then driving an hour to meet up with my friends to go to a Utah Jazz game. It was quite the jam-packed adventure. I worked 8 hours and after my shift I booked it out of work, drove, pulled into my boyfriend's driveway, got in his roommate's car and we took off to Utah! The Jazz played the number one team in the western conference, the Oklahoma City Thunder, and they WON! [Keep in mind, I know nothing about basketball, it's my boyfriend's sport. But he's been feeling out of sorts lately and when he asked me if I wanted to go with him I threw all my previous NBA judgments out the window and went because I knew it would make him happy. We ate nachos and drank beer and called the referee a sonofabitch! :) and laughed a lot!]

I had never been to a basketball game before and it turned out to be a lot of fun. The Jazz's mascot, The Bear, is hilarious! I love that guy! And during halftime they had these dogs that were AMAZING at catching frisbees! They would run around the guy and jump up in the air to catch the frisbees and do little flips. It was so cute. I love animals!

The weather was fairly nice yesterday, and it's even better today. There are even rumors that it'll be up in the 60s this weekend! I hope so, because I had a harder time with winter than I thought I would. And it was a very mild winter by eastern Idaho's standards!

These are some things I'm looking forward to this spring:
-going slacklining with my best friend
-going/learning how to rock climb with that same friend
-practicing yoga in the sunshine with the lovely Alisa!
-hopefully getting a bike so I can go riding with my brother and his wife
-learning how to longboard so I can cruise with my boyfriend
-reading books under a shady tree
-taking walks by myself, with the doggy, and anyone else that wants to go :)
-and starting seeds. I need flowers in my life [my boyfriend is awesome and knows this; he bought me a big bouquet of yellow and orange flowers 2 weekends ago. They still look great :) ]

Thoughtful Thursday [wk.8]- BREAKING DOLDRUMS

I've been sad and slightly mad the past few weeks. I feel stuck and anxious to change it.

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

This message has reached my ears several times in the past week. Just yesterday, my boyfriend said to me, "Don't let a time frame trip you out; life takes as long as life takes." And it's so true. Anything in life that's worth anything takes a long time to attain. Instant gratification never lasts that long, it's never very strong.

I had quite the day yesterday. To put it in a nutshell, my job is a joke and the lack of organization is driving me insane. Thus, change is needed. So I turned to my trusty ol' pops. He's my go-to person when I'm feeling like complete crap over my life. He's been around a while, he's dealt with his share of crap. We talked for 2 hours on the phone. Then I chatted with my oldest brother about my lifecrap when he got home from work.

My father and brother have been the biggest support and push to better myself throughout my entire life [and they've both had endless amounts of patience with me. Bless their souls]. It's wonderful because they have different points of view, so I don't feel like my family is a broken record [or like they're conspiring...]. I get the greatest feeling of hope after I talk to my father and brother when I'm in a rut. The advice they gave me: write more. Really, that's the conclusion they both came to! I thought it was pretty interesting that I could get different perspectives but the bottom-line message from both of them was the same. I should listen.

Both of them believe writing is my way out of this string of crappy jobs. [Deep down, I believe that, too.] The thing about writing [and why I don't do it as often as I should] is because of the amount of time it requires. I'm impatient, I want to see results quickly, I'm lazy. I have a gift I don't exercise. What a mess! So this comes full circle to Mr Emerson's advice about being patient. Only with patience can the most beautiful, worthwhile things be achieved. The secret to help you out when you're in the pits? Determine your goal and have patience. In my case I don't only need to have patience with the time it will take to make myself, I need to have patience with myself.

Wish me luck!

hurry spring! i want to plant flowers for my niece's birthday!

Every morning that I've woken up this winter, the sky outside at 6 a.m. has been pitch black. I would drive to work in the dark and at 6:30 a.m. I would flip my neon "OPEN" sign on; it would illuminate the cold ground in front of it and the reflection would bounce off the window into the dusky cafe. It would be at least an hour before the sun peeked over the mountains in the distance. I waited so anxiously for that every morning. 

This morning I was met with quite the surprise when I opened the door at 6 a.m. The air was lighter, not like the density that comes with the dark night. There was a hint of twilight; a faint peachy glow on the horizon. The sun! I could see hints of the sun at 6:15 a.m. this morning! Hallelujah!

[This morning was especially beautiful because of the moon. The dusty peach overtook the eastern horizon, and on the western edge the moon sat just above the horizon. Big, fat, and glowing orange against the navy sky. It was magical, I tell you!]

When the sun comes up, the rest of the world wakes with it. I no longer feel so alone in my corner coffee shop at that moment. And I can't describe my happiness over the fact that the days are getting longer! It means spring will be here soon and I can get my hands dirty with my brother, his wife and the kids. My niece has requested California poppies for her 8th birthday. And a Minecraft cake, haha.

A-Z

I found this on another blog and I thought it might be fun! If nothing else, it's a time killer as I'm sitting in an unbearably slow coffeehouse... 
A. Age: 23
B. Bed size: Twin, aka, too small
C. Chore that you hate: Vacuuming and cleaning the oven
D. Dogs: I like lap dogs, haha. French bulldogs, Boston terriers, pugs, mini pinschers, yorkies
E. Essential start to your day: A tall glass of ice water
F. Favourite colour: Green, blue, purple
G. Gold or Silver: White gold, because I like the look of silver but it tarnishes so fast sometimes! :(
H. Height: 5'7"ish
I. Instruments you play: I played the flute in junior high
J. Job title: Barista
K. Kids: None of my own
L. Live: Idaho Falls, Idaho
M. Mother’s name: Jeanette Lorena
N. Nicknames: Claudi, Cloudy [with a chance of meatballs], the Claudster, Clarissita
O. Overnight hospital stays: When I was born
P. Pet peeves: Oh, so many...
Q. Quote from a movie: Too difficult!
R. Right or left handed: Right handed
S. Siblings: 2 older brothers and a throng of step-siblings
T. Time you wake up: 5:30 a.m Monday-Friday. I really like to sleep in on the weekends
U. Underwear: Should be comfortable
V. Vegetable you hate: Olives
W. What makes you run late: Procrastination
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Teeth, feet
Y. Yummy food that you make: Baked goods
Z. Zoo animal: I try to avoid zoos. But I love big cats! Rawr!!

i'd rather not be at work.

the weather outside always catches me by surprise when i open the front door to go to work at 6 am. sometimes it's just cold, other times it's frigid and my windshield is frosty. sometimes, it's snowy. i don't like that. it means the roads are going to be extra slick and the lane-lines are hidden. i could check the weather online before i open the door, but frankly, i just don't do that.

today i woke up to snow. thankfully it was the thick, fluffy kind, it falls off easily so i didn't have to stand in the snow and scrape. i really hate that. the flurries are still falling, the sky is clouded; i think this will be the theme of the day. the lazy tone of my attitude isn't helped by the fact that i couldn't sleep from being nauseous last night. *sigh* when will i feel back to normal?

on days like this the ONLY THING I WANT TO DO is cuddle up with a hot drink and read. or, as of 4 days ago, watch Downton Abbey. if you have not checked this show out, DO SO IMMEDIATELY. the first season is on netflix and season 2 is on pbs.org until March 6th. you can easily watch both seasons before that time ;)

i hope the next 7 hours speed past!

Thoughtful Thursday [wk.7]- FROM DEBRIS

Today I'd like to share the lyrics to a song that I have loved since I first heard, about 3 years ago. The band was introduced to me by someone who was NOT GOOD in my life. We had a very volatile relationship and the pain was dragged out far too long before I finally had enough. Despite the dysfunction of that relationship, a few good things came from it. Namely, a couple of really badass bands. And a love for riding bikes.


Your feet upon the snow dear
i knew you could not believe it
there was no time to put shoes on
you were woken to alarms ring
you barely left your blankets
to see your neighbors house on fire

they were standing right beside it
it's difficult believing
when you can't tell what you're seeing.

from debris you and me could start something
from backseats behind the trees won't know one thing
from debris, you and me…

your feet upon the road dear
run between the houses
your arms were filled with water
without the hesitation
to know what your were doing
i think people can be perfect
when they do not think about it
i think people can be perfect

from debris you and me could start something
from backseats behind the trees we'll know thing
from debris you and me
staring at nothing
for hours and hours
run from the evening
run with the water
from debris, you and me...

you're not above it...
you're not below it...


-From the album Several Arrow Later by matt pond PA


This entire album is actually very dear to my heart. It's given me hope in the bleakest, most hopeless of situations. It just sort of reminds me that the most beautiful things can bloom from what, at the time, can seem like the most disheartening of situations.


So, have hope.

brief rundown

moving is hard.

settling in is harder.

i have to find my balance here.

I've been in Idaho for almost exactly 5 months. It feels shorter and longer than that at the same time.

In the past month my poor immune system has fallen prey to 4 different ailments: food poisoning, killer allergies, fever & cough, and pleurisy. Thus, I have not been able to practice yoga. Because I literally can't breathe. Sneezing, laughing and coughing all hurt, too.

but the sun still shines (metaphorically speaking anyway. it's been very overcast here lately). my family is amazing. my friends are THE BEST. for example, it's really cold in the coffee shop in the morning, so my friend let me borrow his bean-bag-heat-pad-thing. i pop it in the microwave, set it on my lap and it keeps me warm. it's also handy in the car when the windows are frosty.

i'm really loving body mods again. i got a new (very small) tattoo last month and i'm hoping to get new piercings next month.

i also need a second job. saving is hard with only one part time job. i'd still like to move out of idaho falls sometime this summer. do you know how hard it is to find a job in idaho falls? so stressful it makes me nauseous.

so. i'm 23. i spent the weekend of my birthday out of town with my friends that live in pocatello. then on monday, my bestie and i went downtown. she was sick on my actual birthday. once she was better we had ourselves a good time. probably too good of a time.

i made 48 strawberry cupcakes with homemade strawberry cream cheese frosting. they are to die for. even my brother likes them, and he doesn't like sweets! granted, he skips the frosting, but that's still a big step for him! i should probably stop baking when it's dark out; i could get some fantastic pictures with some natural light. next week i'm making snickerdoodles, at the request of my lovely niece. now i just have to find the ol' family recipe!

i don't want to do anything this weekend. except be lazy and sleep in. i haven't slept very well, and i'm still shaking the last bit of sickness i had. i think i'll have myself a date with Netflix and tea.

mellow

my birthday was last week.

it was pretty low key.

but i felt such love.

and such fun.

my brother and his wife bought me a set of heart-shaped cake and cupcake tins.

i'm going to make strawberry cupcakes with them tomorrow.

you know, for valentine's day.

i'll recruit my nephews and niece, they'll love it.

pictures to come later.

i'm hoping to start a new project.

i feel very mellow.

i can relate

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.


-Pablo Neruda, sonnet XVII

bright.

cheers to having a new journal.

cheers to reorganizing and deep cleaning my room.

cheers to wine and whiskey sours with my girl friends.

cheers to weekends with old friends.

cheers to making new ones.

cheers to almond-coconut mochas first thing in the morning when I get to work

and the world is blanketed in white snow.

cheers to having the best older brother in the world.

cheers to january.

cheers to naps in the afternoon, because I wake up at 5 am Monday through Friday.

cheers to love.

cheers to cupcakes.

cheers to the music that hits my heart.

cheers.